Stalking the Bogeyman

What a pleasant day!  I got to sleep in (Lani let me - yea!) until 7:30 and got up and did some chores/cleaning, made a smoothie and shared it with her, did a little studying.  Was low-key and nice.  Dartagnan stayed the night at Grandma's last night, so was very quiet because Jon is also out of town this weekend to Orlando for a seminar. 

This afternoon, I got to spend some time with my friend Trish and her two little girls.  Delaney absolutely loves the tunnel and tent that Trish brought her for her Christmas present.  I know, it is mid-January, but we've been so busy that we've not had time to get together until now.  Was so good to see her and catch up a little.

Had two of my friends over to practice Cervical set-ups because we have a very important practical (very important because it is worth many points and because there are so many ways to go wrong on it!).  We mostly chatted, because we don't get to really just sit and have good girl-talk much at school.  One friend brought her daughter over and our girls played together.  I'd be happier if Lani was a little more willing to share her toys and not be so aggressive with other kids.  She's only two; she will learn how to be a better friend and share more as she gets older.

I was thinking over the discussion I was having with my friends from school:  one was upset that the other hadn't shared a rather important piece of information about her life with her until very recently and did not understand why she would withhold it.  We talked about how much our experiences and our other relationships can influence how we interact with each other.  I was just reflecting that perhaps we could become more merciful and understanding with each other if we'd have just a glimpse of how the other person's life experiences have shaped them. 

When I came home this afternoon from stopping by to have lunch with my mom and dad, I was listening to a story on NPR, "Stalking the Bogeyman" by David Holthouse (originally appeared in WestWord, an alt-weekly newspaper in Denver, in 2004 http://www.westword.com/2004-05-13/news/stalking-the-bogeyman/).  What a powerful story of forgiveness.  I was so engrossed in the story that I had to stay in my car and listen to the end of it before I could get out and go in the house.  I think it really shows that oftentimes, there is so much we just don't know about where someone is coming from, that we make assumptions based on our own experiences.  From the data he refers to in his article, look around you:  1 in 4 girls has been molested/sexually assaulted/raped...that is so disturbing to me, a mother of a charming, beautiful little girl.  I do try to be most vigilant about protecting her, not leaving her with anyone I don't know extremely well.  I even question allowing Dartagnan's friends to stay over if I've not spent time around them, because, God forbid that someone would harm my baby girl in her very own home.  I just think it is so important to be careful, even if it means that some people think you are crazy for being so concerned.  Please don't interpret this to mean that I suspect my son's friends of being pedophiles; I don't.  I don't want to create situations where one might have even an inkling of temptation to do something untoward.  I can't help thinking of the possibilities because I never want either of my children to have any experiences like that to hurt them and change them.

(Content removed due to censorship.)
I'm needing to get to sleep.  I want to get more studying in before church in the morning.  Going to the church I grew up in tomorrow with my mom.  She loves it when I come back with her.  However, it just isn't "home" anymore.  I don't miss it, but there are a few people I do miss.  I think the way I grew up in the Assemblies of God as I did, and now comparing and contrasting it with the way I'm experiencing the Lutheran church, it feels like the emphasis is too much on the emotion and on the expectation of having an "encounter" with God every service; preferably every day.  I've come to really appreciate my husband's upbringing in the Lutheran church, where it appears that the emphasis is more on the business of living a life that shares the faith in a more conservative manner rather than the way it felt when I was growing up A/G: like you were constantly having it in your face and if you didn't "feel it" then "your heart isn't right."  Now I think that is hogwash, because no one "feels" spiritual, or close to God all the time.  We have earthly moments.  We have times when we question.  Questioning isn't wrong, but I was raised to believe that it was nearly sacrilegious.  Overall, I look back on my spiritual upbringing and feel that many of the people who passed through that church (and I do mean passed through, because the congregation has remained relatively the same size since hitting about 400 in attendance years ago), were hurt spiritually, and felt that they could not live up to the unrealistic expectations that were taught to them.  I know people who won't step foot inside a church because they were deeply wounded by something someone said to them that amounted to abuse of spiritual power.  It is a shame that sometimes people who mean well can botch it up so badly.  We are human, however, and we do make mistakes.  It is unfortunate to hold onto hurt for so many years and, perhaps, allow the hurt to keep you from having positive experiences in your life.  As I've gotten older and become friends with many people outside of my faith, it has really enriched my life and I hope I'm learning and taking the best of what I find in other faiths and applying to my own beliefs and attitudes.  I hope that I'm becoming more tolerant and understanding.  Life is definitely a journey. 

I am so glad that I'm a student again and that my mind is being expanded by what I learn at Palmer.  I am thankful, even though it can be a painful process at times.  I am so fortunate that I live in the United States and that we have student loans to help us achieve our educational dreams.  On that happy note, I now retire to bed.